Memories!!

why do u always txt me or talk to me on msn when i've forgotten you?
why do u always spot me on the street and talk to me when i've tried to avoid u??
why do u always remind me of the good times we had?
why do u make me think u might miss me even for a second?
why do u make me feel amazing for that split second?
why do u look at me in tht way,the way that makes me think u like me?
why do u go all quite when your around me?
why do u hug me like u used to?
why do u get in my head and stay there?
why do u smile like that at me,that way that makes me melt?
why do u make me go shy?
why do i remember when we kissed??
why can i still feel it on my lips??
why does our song always come on the radio??
why do u make me what to be back in arms again?
why when i smell your after shave to i always miss you?
why did u make those stupid promises to me that you couldn't keep?
why do i miss everything about you?
why do the little things remind me of you?
why is this happening when i was stronger and more independant then ever?
why did you keep coming back in my life?
why do i never want to forget you?
why do i miss more now then ever before?
why do i love you more now then i loved you before?
why did you say good bye??

I wrote this when i was 16 years old, its one of my favourite pieces and that's why i've choose to repost it. Its been 4 years since i last looked at and it brought back some memories reading it. It was about the first boyfriend I'd ever had and how i was feeling some time after we broke, cause at the time I thought life began with him and thats we're life was going to end with him, I was naive to think this however it made me wonder while reading what had happened to that girl who was so very romantic, who believed that prince charming would rescue her from the dpets of depression. shortly after this was written i got into a very serious relationship which lasted 2 years, some of this was happy times others no so happy.
After coming out the other side I still today wonder if that 2 year realtionship made me a much more cynical person, cause i know for a fact I don't think I'd be capable of writing something that heartfelt something fueled with that much passion and pain all at the same time.
part of me wonders does this happen to everyone?? through the heartbreak, the let downs, the unfufilled promises amongst everything does this turn us into people who are indeed cynical, do we expect less or more in relationships cause of previous heartbreaks?
I like to think that that little 16 year girl still lives a bit in me today despite the heartaches and let downs, she's the part of me who keeps me motivated, knowing some day indeed my prince will come. Now don't get me confused with some desperate girl in search of a boyfriend I'm highly independent and very comfortable with myself,
however today while reading that and other pieces I had written when i was a hormone fuelled teenager made me cringe first and then think and look back at how far I'd come and how lucky I'd truly been since forever I'd wished for a 'rockstar boyfriend' as i called him, i got him and realised 2 years this wasn't my dream, I was never ment to stand in someones shadow I was ment to shine.
Sometimes I think we need to remind ourseleves of our 16 year old selves, the years when we thought we knew everything but knew nothing, in fairness though sometimes i still have my 16year old mentality after a few drinks but thats a completly different story.
I know from reading my old writings today that it has reminded me of how far i've come and how my way of looking at things has changed its amazing how in such a small amount of time your whole perspective of life can change without you even realising.

wow, for the first time in a long time, today has possibly been unreal!! like nothing major happened or anything just feel like i was in limbo you could say for the past month and its like over the past 3 days i have shifted out of this phase of my life, for the first time in a while i no longer feel worried about anything and that things are finally falling into place with my exams amongst other few personal issues!!
anyway im sick of being deep and meaningful and on a lighter note and hopefully more humorous one as well, I have to say my twitter addiction is getting worse? i need to know if anyone else feels this way like seriously its gone way beyond what facebook ever did for me, I tweet from the moment i wake up till the moments I go to sleep, I have it on my phone for when I'm out i can tweet. However I am probably fully aware that my followers do not give a hoot that I'm currently 'out having lunch, will return to study later, followed by watching movies' i feel the need to tweet this and im pretty sure im not the only person who has this problem either. Another thing I noticed and its pretty sad, but im not alone in this (ohh yeeh i've seen it you all do it too) i reply to celeb tweets, I have to say im surprised i haven't been served with a restrianing order from examples legal team, I constantly tweet him back in hopes he will reply, one day he will im sure, but still have to keep trying cause if he replys to my tweet im well in there, he obviously loves me and we are def gonna get married!!
despite all this obssessive behaviour I am quite normal!! I've just beein struck down with a severe case of twitteritis....you will be seeing adds on your televisions soon 'help a poor student with twitteritis, for just 2 euro a month you could save a student from this pandemic, for just 2 euro a month you could make sure a student has a life again...etc etc'.

lazy days known as sundays :)

Ahh the joys of Sundays, I have to say it has to be my favourite day of the week. My dad said the most interesting thing to me on friday and i have to say its the best line i've heard in a long time, he said 'you know what Aoife I'm gonna make friday the last day of the week therefore I start the week with 2 days off' and i have to say i truly thought this was genius and decided to adopt this strategy for myself. I'm on this new think positive buzz, now I don't wanna be one of those annoyingly positive people cause lets face these facts no one likes them, I do think this is an Irish mentality though you cannot be too happy, cause if your too happy or content with life your just annoying in the words of Tommy Tirenan 'here he comes, the happy fucker' anyway way off the point there, I'm trying to think more positvely so I'm going to try and adopt this mentality of my week starting on saturday, and i tell ya it kinda works I think, however i am highly sure this is probably the placebo effect, but if its working fuck it we'll go with it and see were it takes us.

lets start at the beginning shall we!

well, were to start, Im a 19 year old college student who has had a pretty rough ride, now im not hear to moan and say ooohhh my god my life is absolutly useless so im just gonna be depressed, in actual fact im quite the opposite i've been through it all i've been bullied, lost all my friends, became insecure, changed schools twice, had family issues, been alone, had boyfriend for 2 years and then broke up messily and heartbreakingly, had dreams shattered, the list is truly endless, however, I am not miserable, I am in fact stronger then ever now, and decided this is were my true story starts, I am now an outgoing and very funny girl, i have a few close friends, I am single for the first time since i was 16 and kinda like it, i have a passion inside me once again to pursue a career in music and dance however I'd be equally as happily to graduate college n become a pharmacist, what i am basically saying is I am ready to let the past go and to start something new. So why not bring all you guys along for the ride too im sure it will be an interesting story to tell. :)